Charming News
by The Phantom Panther
Summary: Severus is annoyed of Gilderoy. Erm...whee! I am so bad at summaries! My first GAS fic. *Yay! Gilderoy is finally on the character list!*


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This means I, unfortunately, do not own Snape or Gilderoy. They belong to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Okay, this was originally supposed to be the beginning of a fic of mine, but I realized that the fic really wouldn't work. I liked how this was turning out and I made it a fic on its own. Erm….yay!

The great hall was full of chattering students who were waiting for their breakfast to arrive. The same held true for most of the teachers as well.

Professor Snape sat in his seat with a rather annoyed look pasted upon his face. He did not understand why Lockhart had to sit right next to him. Just looking at Lockhart put him in an irritable mood. 'How could anyone possibly be so full of himself? Ugghh, he is so annoying!' he thought bitterly. Lockhart was apparently in his own little world as he gazed at his reflection in his hand held mirror.

"Could you possibly be any more full of yourself?" Snape asked only to be ignored. Gilderoy didn't notice that he was being asked a question and let out a big grin to examine the pearly white teeth that shone back at him.

Snape rolled his eyes and gave an angered sigh. He turned his glance to his left side to try to ignore Lockhart's admiration of himself. He then noticed the week's issue of the Witch Weekly. A slight smirk came across his face as grabbed the paper and began looking at it.

"What's this?! Gilderoy Lockhart has not been nominated for the most charming simle award this year?" Snape said with a false sense of shock to his tone.

Even in his trance, Lockhart heard those words and understood every one of them. He took his glance from his beloved mirror and looked at Snape.

"What was that Severus?" Lockhart asked.

"That's funny, I'm sure that I saw his name on the nominations list. Let me see…gasp! His name is nowhere to be seen. How interesting," Severus continued.

"Pardon me, Severus. May I see that?" Lockhart asked with a bit of concern.

"It says here that it would have been a shame if he would have lost the award to someone else, but to not even be considered as a candidate, oh how awful," Snape shuddered.

"SEVERUS!!!" Lockhart pleaded.

Snape was pleased with Lockhart's frustration, but realized that he couldn't carry out his lie much longer.

"I'm sorry, Gilderoy, were you saying something?" Snape asked with a cruel smirk placed upon his lips.

"Why yes I was. I was wondering if I may see the Witch Weekly?" Lockhart asked.

"Oh this? Why ever would you want to see it?" Snape asked innocently.

"There is an article that I am interested in seeing. So if you don't mind, would you be so kind as to hand it to me?" Lockhart said anxiously.

"Yes, actually, I would mind," Snape replied.

"What?!" Lockhart exclaimed.

"You don't get it do you? Oh Lockhart you are just so conceited that's it's unbelievable! You didn't care about anything that I said to you unless you were directly affected," Said an aggravated Snape.

"I don't get what you're getting at Severus," Lockhart said.

"Do you enjoy talking about yourself?" Snape asked.

"Well, I am a frightfully exciting subject…" Lockhart replied.

"Do you see what I mean?!?!" Snape exclaimed.

"No, Severus, I do not," Lockhart said, "What is the matter with you?"

"YOU ARE!!!" Snape shouted. A few of the students gave him an awkward glance.

"Now I get it." Lockhart announced.

"You do?" Snape asked perplexed.

"I'm smarter than you think I am." Lockhart said to him.

"Don't flatter yourself," Snape retorted.

"You're trying to change the subject so that I will forget all about reading the Witch Weekly. You're quite the sneaky one Severus, but I have a keen mind and I spotted your mischievous plan from the start. Nice try, but I'm afraid you can't fool me." Lockhart said triumphantly. Severus looked as if he were going to burst a vein. "Now, would you be so kind and hand me the Witch Weekly?" Lockhart asked nicely.

"NO! I made the whole thing up!" Snape shouted. Luckily, everyone seemed to be too involved in their own conversations to notice his outburst.

"You what?" Lockhart asked.

"I made the whole damn thing up you bloody, egotistical, self-centered bastard!!!" Snape exclaimed angrily as his face reddened.

"Well, that was a bit uncalled for." Lockhart said.

Snape then turned to face forward and try to ignore Lockhart in hopes that it would prevent him from losing control of himself and hexing Lockhart into oblivion. It seemed to work and Snape's skin tone seemed to return to normal. It remained quiet for a good 30 seconds when....

"May I see it now?"

"NO!"

With that, Lockhart let out a small squeak and turned his gaze away from the irritated professor beside him. His eyes were slightly widened as he put all of his effort into not looking at Snape or the paper that he so desperately wanted to see.

Dumbledore slowly arose from his seat and stood to address the hall. The whole room went quiet in respect and anticipation. Every pair of eyes were on the wise headmaster awaiting for him to speak; when finally he broke the silence. "Good morning every one. I hope you are feeling well," he said. He took a slight pause and then continued. "I am happy to announce that your breakfast is now ready," he announced rather cheerfully. He then returned to his seat.

Within seconds, an abundance of food arrived in front of the people of the hall and they all began their morning feast. Food of every kind could be seen on every table of the hall. There was toast, eggs, sausages, bacon, omelets, pancakes, oatmeal, waffles, and other various items.

Snape was pleased to see that he could finally eat something. His stomach's cry for food wouldn't stop pestering him; it was almost as annoying as the certain someone that currently was sitting next to him. He began to cut his sausage when a strange feeling came upon him. For some reason he felt uncomfortable. He had this sense that someone was too close for his comfort. So, hesitantly, he glanced over to his side. Sure enough, Lockhart had been leaning over as far as he could so that he could try to get a glimpse of the Witch Weekly. He apparently was trying to do it without being caught. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't as subtle about it as he wanted to be. This (not surprisingly) irritated Snape to the point where he just wanted to strangle Lockhart. Instead, he managed to try a bit more civil approach.

"Are you still trying to look at the Witch Weekly?" Snape said.

The statement startled Lockhart. He didn't think that Snape had noticed him. He quickly turned to face forward in an attempt to act as if he was doing nothing. It was quite obvious that he had no idea what to do next and sat in silence; hoping that Snape would just forget about it.

"Lockhart, I asked you a question…"

Lockhart thought of his choices. He could sit in silence and hope that the rather intimidating professor would just drop the subject; make up a reason for staring in that direction; or tell the truth. Each option had its pros and cons. Lockhart was more concerned about the cons and quickly went through each one. Choice one, silence would drive himself nuts and not to mention, it would not guarantee that Snape would leave him alone. Choice two could lead to disaster. Choice three…don't they say it's best to tell the truth?

"Umm….well, actually….yes. Yes I was." Lockhart stammered.

"Okay." Snape replied.

Lockhart squinted his eyes and then opened them back when realization settled in.

"Okay?" Lockhart asked.

"Sure, why not?" Snape answered.

'Wow, that wasn't so bad,' thought Lockhart, 'Maybe I should tell the truth more often.'

Lockhart leaned over to reach for the paper. To his dismay, the paper was just out of his reach. He leaned back into a sitting position and then, hesitantly, looked to Snape.

"I'm afraid that it's a tad bit out of reach. Would it be possible for you to hand it to me?" Lockhart asked a bit timidly.

"But of course," Snape said. His tone was bitterly sweet.

At this point Lockhart was terribly confused. 'Wasn't he just mean to me a second ago?' he thought to himself.

Snape grabbed the paper and held it for a second. He then looked to Lockhart. Lockhart gave him a look of gratitude and he seemed to becoming less antsy as he looked at the item in Snape's grasp.

"Thank you," Lockhart said.

Without warning, Snape slammed the paper down into the bowl of oatmeal that laid before Lockhart. He let out a small gasp as the contents from the bowl splattered all over him. He sat there for a few moments with his eyes shut and then slowly began to open them. Stunned, he slowly turned his head and looked at Snape.

"You're welcome."

A/N: And that ladies and gentlemen was my first GAS fic! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.

This fic would not be possible without the help from my Beta and good friend; Daletchica Slash. She is the one that makes my fics readable. I make tons of grammar and spelling errors and she helps me with them. I recommend that you go see her stuff. It's absolutely awesome!

Thank you so much, Dal. I appreciate everything.


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